He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize