Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
