Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
