in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
