The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
