Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She is in my trunk
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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