she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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