so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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