puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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