I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
