I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
