He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
