call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
