he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
