You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
