I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She needs sedatives and a leash
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
