It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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