Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
