Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
