i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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