Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
