hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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