So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
