she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
