we're blogging at a bar
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
