Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
