K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
