some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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