Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
