Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
