i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My balls are so social today.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
