batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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