So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
