She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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