I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
