you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
so much tequila, so little girl.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
