I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I didn't notice because vodka
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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