dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I love you. Go after that dick
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
