Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
