is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
