Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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