He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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