Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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