The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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