Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Too much gin, very little bucket
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
