Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
