We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
