The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
