Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
