lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
