she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
