I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
