Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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