i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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