id be glad to
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
