So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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